Pretend Boyfriend
by Beginner's Oblivion
Summary: When Nami called and asked Zoro for a favor, he knew he was going to regret it. Now he's Nami's pretend boyfriend, and he can't wait to rid himself of Nami...and the idiotic blond who's after her.
1. Playing Pretend

To celebrate the end of my junior year, I've decided to get this story going. I've had this chapter done for a few months already, but I wasn't sure if I was ready to commit to writing this yet, and I still don't know. Oh well.

I haven't seen any fics like this in the OP ZoSan world, so I thought I'd give it a try. Please give me some good feedback!

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece...so sad...but I did buy a bunch of OP stuff at Tora Con- a cute Chopper plushie!

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><p>Zoro grumbled to himself when the sound of his phone woke him up from his nap. Arm dangling off his couch, he groped the floor for his phone. He found it after a few rings and flipped it open, holding it tiredly to his ear.<p>

"Whazzit?" he asked.

"Zoro, don't tell me you're sleeping! It's three in the afternoon!"

Zoro grumbled in annoyance. He hated it when someone woke him up from his nap, especially when that person was Nami. She was a greedy woman, always looking for a way to make money. Zoro didn't even remember how he and Nami met. He could hardly call them friends.

"Anyway," Nami began, interrupting his thoughts, "I need a _big_ favor."

"Uh-huh..." Zoro should have expected as much. She only called him when she wanted something.

"Oh Zoro, Come on…Just one little favor. Help me out," Nami pleaded, apparently taking Zoro's response as an immediate rejection.

So now it was a _little_ favor? "What is it?" Zoro asked irritably. He sat up on the couch, giving up hope on falling back to sleep quickly. He was preparing himself for the worst.

"Meet me at Bon Voyage Restaurant at 5 today. That's it."

"That's it?" Zoro repeated, raising an eyebrow. There was a catch, a trick, a twist involved somewhere.

"That's it!" Nami said, a grin present in her voice. "And of course in exchange I'll relieve you of the money you owe me."

Zoro grimaced at the phone. "I paid you back years ago! Don't go holding that over my head." He sighed and pulled down his pant leg, which had ridden up while he was asleep. "Damn witch," he muttered.

"I heard that," Nami snapped and then immediately changed into Miss Sunshine. "So you'll be there?" she asked brightly.

"Do you know how bi-polar you are?"

"Zoro."

"Yeah, I'll be there."

Nami laughed evilly. "Thanks so much! See you in a few!"

Zoro grunted in affirmation, happy this conversation was over.

"_And be on time!" _she urged and then promptly hung up.

"Ugh." Zoro dropped his phone to the floor and lounged back on the couch. He shut his eyes, intending to nap until he had to leave to meet Nami. He hoped he wasn't just dragged into something he'd regret. And knowing Nami…Well, he didn't wanna think about it.

Zoro had exactly ten minutes to make it down to Bon Voyage after he woke up. He got up from the couch and grabbed his phone. He ruffled his short green hair, not even caring how disheveled it was from his nap. Nami didn't say he had to look decent, just that he had to show up. He didn't care much for appearances anyway.

When he finally got to the restaurant he was only five minutes late. He shoved the doors of the restaurant open and prepared himself for whatever the witch had planned.

"Zoro! You're here!" Nami yelled cheerily.

Zoro looked to his right and saw Nami rush towards him. Her orange red hair had gotten longer since he had last seen her, and even more surprisingly, her boobs looked like they grew even bigger. It didn't help that she was wearing a shirt that left a man with no room for imagination.

She linked arms with Zoro immediately, smiling so widely that she could scare little children.

Zoro flinched from the contact but couldn't escape the death grip she had on his arm. "What the hell? Let go witch!"

Nami elbowed him in the gut, which didn't affect Zoro's hard-as-a-rock physique in any way. Zoro prided himself on his training and made sure that he was well toned. Not even Nami's barbaric woman attack would work against him.

"Hey Zoro," she began in a hushed voice, "you're my boyfriend for the next hour, so act like it!"

Zoro stared at her in disbelief. "Boyfriend? No way in hell!" Zoro spat. He took a step back, ready at any moment to make his escape.

Well luckily for me we're in heaven today." Nami smiled slyly, unwilling to let Zoro go. "She tugged on Zoro's arm trying to pull him to a table, but Zoro refused to move. "Zoro!" She stomped her foot, absolutely fuming. "Stupid muscle head! Just come to the table!"

Zoro glared right back and forcefully unlinked their arms. He started to turn away from her, but she grabbed onto his arm once more.

"Please?" Nami pleaded. She stuck out her bottom lip and made her eyes big and innocent. Her hand slid from his arm to his hand. She rubbed it tenderly, hoping to get him to stay.

Zoro was about to refuse again and snatch his hand back from the conniving witch when some blonde asshole floated towards them, eyes dreamily set on Nami.

"Nami-swan!" he cooed obnoxiously. "Are you ready for our lovely date?" he swooned, hearts in his eyes.

Zoro felt himself inwardly retch. Now he knew why Nami was so desperate to have him stay.

"Uh Sanji…it's not a—" Nami began, giving Zoro a pleading look as she let go of his hand.

"Nami-swan, who's this moss-head?"

"Moss-head?" Zoro snapped, rubbing his hair.

"Nami-swan, you are so charitable! Bringing in a homeless man to share a meal!"

"Homeless?" Zoro repeated angrily. He glanced down at his clothes, rumpled and creased from his nap. The coffee stain on his shirt didn't help much…and neither did his mismatched socks…but homeless?

Wanting to stop the idiot in his tracks and pushing all regret aside, Zoro grabbed Nami by the hand. "I'm her boyfriend, asshole."

The look on the idiot's face was priceless.

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><p>So, what did you think? Will Sanji get the hint and leave Nami alone?<p>

Probably not...haha.

I don't know for sure when I'll have the next chapter up, so please be patient. I've got exams next week, and I obviously need to study.


	2. Dinner and a Movie

One exam down, three to go. I decided to update this earlier than I intended because I got sooo much good feedback it made me really happy. Thanks to everyone who reviewed: (1) Red Voident Dragon, (2) kayak, (3) HappyMe-O, (4) alguien22792, (5) leena, and (6) musicis4ever. Special thanks to musicis4ever for being the first reviewer!

I got a lot of suggestions for pairings...ZoNa, ZoSan, and even a little love triangle action...Hmmm...I still haven't decided what I want to do. I really like the love triangle idea though.

Shorter chapter this time. I just thought it was a good place to stop. *shrugs*

Anyway- Disclaimer: I don't own anything OP, except volume 1 which I bought Sunday instead of my summer reading books because OP would make much better summer reading material than anything AP Lit related. Obviously.

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><p>After Zoro's admission, the blonde idiot was speechless. His mouth hung open and his eyes darted back and forth between Zoro and Nami.<p>

"Bo-boyfriend?" the blonde sputtered.

Nami smiled at Sanji sheepishly, deceiving him by playing innocent. "Oh, Sanji. I tried telling you earlier...but you didn't listen. You were too busy staring at my chest."

Sanji's eyes darted to Nami's chest. Her cleavage was shamelessly exposed.

Zoro grimaced. Now that he'd gotten himself into this mess he had to play the over-protective boyfriend. "Yo!" he snapped, pulling Nami towards him. "Don't go staring at my girlfriend like that. Do you want me to kick your ass, asshole?"

"My name is Sanji, not asshole." Sanji's curly eyebrow was twitching in anger. "I'd like to see you try and kick my ass. I'd have you beaten in a heartbeat."

Zoro laughed condescendingly. "Then let's go ass—"

Nami took it upon herself to smash her heel into Zoro's foot. "Enough!" she muttered angrily.

Zoro bit his lip to keep from crying out. The damn witch had some pointy heels!

Nami looked at Sanji and laughed awkwardly. "So now that you realize I have a boyfriend I'm sure you don't want to stick around."

Sanji shook his head. "Why Nami-swan I've been looking forward to seeing your beauty all day! An ogre isn't going to scare me away no matter how brutish it looks. If it threatens you in any way I'll be happy to kick its ass for you."

"You—!" Zoro snapped. First he was a mosshead, then he was homeless, and now he's an ogre? This guy was so dead.

Nami dug her heel even harder into Zoro's foot warning him to not say anything. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't make such rude comments about Zoro," she told Sanji, "…no matter how true they may be," she muttered to herself.

"Eh?" Zoro yelled in disbelief after hearing her muttering. "Do want me to leave right now? Cause I sure as hell will."

Sanji looked over at the two. "Please do, you ogre. Poor Nami-swan is probably tired of your caveman speak and wants to have a real conversation with real words."

Nami forced out a laugh. "Oh Sanji, you're so funny." She turned away from him so he couldn't see her expression. She grabbed Zoro by the shirt and yanked him down so that they were face to face and their backs were to Sanji. She leaned towards Zoro's ear in a way that any observer would think that she was whispering sultry words to her boyfriend. This wasn't the case. "If you don't do this the way I want I'll be sure to triple your debt," Nami threatened. "Don't mess this up!"

"I paid you back two years ago!" he whispered back harshly. "I don't owe you a damn thing. If anything _you_ owe _me_. So if you don't persuade me in the next two seconds to stay then I'm outta here."

Nami furrowed her brows. "Ok fine. I'm so desperate right now that I'm willing to give in. Pick one thing and I'll make sure it's yours in exchange for helping me out. But make it reasonable."

Zoro smiled in satisfaction. "Beer."

"Beer?" Nami looked at him in disgust but then smiled at the practical request. "No problem dear. When this is over I'll buy you your favorite beer." Before Nami pulled away from Zoro she planted a kiss on his cheek and smiled at him cheekily, a faint rosy hue on her cheeks.

It took all of Zoro's willpower not to wipe off the witch's spit from his face. Instead, he smirked at her, trying to look like he enjoyed her kiss.

Nami ran her fingers through her hair and turned back to Sanji. "Our table is right over there." She headed toward the table leaving Zoro and Sanji alone.

Sanji gritted his teeth in annoyance. "I don't know how the beautiful Nami-swan can find it in her heart to like something like you. You may be her boyfriend for now _mosshead_, but when she sees a real gentleman she'll drop you in a second."

Zoro scoffed at Sanji's absurdity. He found it strange the way his heart was beating a mile a minute. He almost felt _excited_ that he and the idiot would get to continue their verbal spar. He shoved past Sanji, knocking forcefully into the smaller man's shoulder. "Good luck with that. I'll be sure to kick your ass when she's not looking."

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><p>Yay I updated! This is my first multi-chaptered fic that I've actually gone on to post a second chapter. Thanks again for all the positive feedback, and don't be too shy to review!<p> 


	3. Make Out

I don't really have much to say. I'm just really happy school's over, but then again I'm really nervous to start my summer job. I'll be working as a counselor at an overnight summer camp for 2 long months with people that I've never met before in my life. As a result, I'll be really busy and won't get a chance to write as often. I'm sorry!

Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter: (1) musicis4ever, (2) alguien22792, (3) XxstevilxX, (4) Kailee Nakamaru, (5) Jewls Rewls, and (6) Chili loves you. And a special thanks to repeat reviewers musicis4ever and alguien22792 and for Jewls Rewls for taking the time to review both chapters! To Chili loves you: that is the longest review I think I'll ever get in my life. It made me smile, so thanks (no matter how random it was).

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece...

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><p>"Get up you lazy ass lug!"<p>

Zoro twitched as he woke from his nap. He could've sworn someone just punched him in the arm. "Mmm."

"Get up! I _will_ dump your precious stock of beer down the drain!"

Zoro's eyes snapped open and he shot up from the couch. "Touch my beer and you die." He looked over at the person he just threatened and gaped in shock. "What the hell are you doing in my apartment?"

Nami huffed and rolled her eyes. "You didn't do a good enough job yesterday." She turned and headed out of the room where she knew Zoro's room was.

Zoro stared after her retreating back. "How the hell did you get into my apartment?"

Nami continued walking away, ignoring his question. She came back minutes later with a change of clothes in her arms. She threw the clothes over his head and rubbed her hands together. "Put those on. I refuse to let you walk me around looking like the slob from yesterday."

He ignored her order and tossed his clothes to the side. "Who do you think you are going through my closet and ordering me around like I'm your bitch? Leave. I'm busy."

Nami wrinkled her nose but otherwise didn't look the least bit perturbed. "Believe me, I really didn't want to go through your closet, but I can't trust you to get ready yourself." She put her hands on her hips and leered over him. "And don't even think about lying to me Zoro. I know for a fact that you're never busy."

"I was planning on going to the gym." He stood up and stretched. "Hell, I am going to the gym." He glared at Nami pointedly. "Leave."

"No. You were supposed to get rid of Sanji for me. You didn't so now we need to keep up our charade until he gets the message." She clapped her hands together. "So hurry it up and get changed. We need to be out of here in ten minutes."

Zoro rubbed his eyes in frustration. Yesterday's dinner wasn't enough for the blond idiot? Hadn't he seen enough of their hand holding and heard enough of their flirting? Just thinking about it made Zoro retch. He never wanted to go back to being close to that woman ever again, and he definitely wasn't planning on ever seeing that idiot again.

"What part of no don't you understand?" Zoro glared at her. "Get out of my apartment."

"You said you would help me out! You're such a liar!"

"I'm a liar? That's complete bullshit!"

Nami pouted at Zoro. "Just one more time...I'll get you more beer..." She smiled at him suggestively and wiggled her perfectly primped eyebrows.

Nami approached him gracefully with a flirtatious look on her face. Her fingers danced up his arm until she reached his shoulder. "One more time...that's all I'm asking. Think of the beer Zoro, the beer..." She stared him down, her eyes hypnotizing.

Zoro had to tear his gaze away from Nami before he could fall further under her evil witch spell. His will had crumbled with her oppressive stare. "Fine."

Nami pulled her hand from his shoulder and pumped her fist. "Alright! Now hurry up and get dressed!"

Zoro grumbled. He found it annoying that Nami was already back to being her demanding self. He went back to the couch and began pulling off his shirt to change into what Nami had given him.

She smacked his arm in alarm at his display. Her cheeks had turned a light shade of pink. "Not in front of me! Do you have any manners?"

"Then turn around, woman! Who said you had to watch?" Zoro sputtered, annoyed. Why was everything _he_ did an inconvenience? _She_ was the one who caused all the trouble all the time. And why was she blushing?

She sighed. "Fine, fine." She crossed her arms and turned away from him. "We're going to the movies. You will sit in the middle so I don't have to deal with him staring at my face the entire time. Got it? You buy the tickets. You buy the food. You act like you're happy to be there. Ok?" she asked sweetly.

Think of the beer. Think of the beer. "Mm," he mumbled, ignoring the twitch of his eyebrow.

"Nami-swan! Nami-swan!"

Zoro grimaced as soon as he heard the idiot screaming out Nami's name. To make him feel more irritated, Nami immediately latched onto his arm and pressed her cheek against his arm. He was surrounded by two people he absolutely could not stand.

"Don't screw this up," Nami whispered threateningly.

He grunted in response and remained stiff in her hold. The blonde was on one knee gushing out compliments to his "girlfriend."

Zoro bent towards him so they were face to face. "Get up asshole. The witch doesn't need her ego to be inflated any more than it already is."

"Witch?" Nami and Sanji snapped together.

Zoro ignored their glares and strolled off towards the ticket line. He examined the movie choices, grimacing at all the chick flicks and romantic comedies playing.

"Zoro! You're doing a shitty job!" Nami hissed, punching him in the arm.

Zoro glanced away from the movie listings and looked at the seething Nami. "What?" he asked, playing dumb.

Nami opened her mouth to retort but stopped when Sanji appeared behind her with a love struck expression. She growled, clenching her fists. "Never mind!"

"What movie has my lovely Nami-swan chosen?"

"Hm..." Her eyes raced over the choices, and she smiled evilly when she found a selection that she liked. "How about Lost in your Eyes?"

Zoro knew he'd be sleeping through this one.

Zoro almost whooped in joy when the movie had ended. He didn't get to take a nap like he wanted because Nami had to be a witch and hold onto his hand like a boa constrictor squeezing its prey. His hand had gone numb, and when he tried telling the witch to let go she just had to lean on his shoulder and snuggle up against him. And as soon as she tried making out with him, he knew this pretend boyfriend thing was getting out of hand. He tried to escape but one glance at the devastated look he saw on the idiot's face made him plunge face first into a make out session that made him cringe whenever he thought about it afterwards. Anything to make that blonde pissed off. Anything to make him jealous. Anything for the beer. Or so he told himself.

Agh. He knew he'd regret helping Nami out.

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><p>Ok, so next chapter I promise we'll have more development in the relationship area, so this just about closes the exposition (introduction) of the story. Now stuff is gonna really get moving. Reviews make the world go round! So please give me your feedback!<p> 


	4. Cohabitation

Ok, so I got sooo much good feedback from the last chapter that I just couldn't but help but update asap! I went to bed 2 nights ago, and when I woke up and checked my email I had SIXTEEN new emails from fanfiction because of this story. My day was absolutely made. I'm glad that I made you laugh, and you're excited to see what happens next. I've accomplished what every writer wants to hear.

So I got a couple of requests: (1) make it longer and more in depth, (2) more ZoSan, (3) other character appearances, and (4) of course a quick update! Well, I know I did at least 3½ out of the 4. I hope this doesn't disappoint!

Too answer some ?s: This is Zoro's POV, so he can be pretty clueless when it comes the person he likes, Nami is manipulative (and possibly falling for someone), and Sanji is still very much obsessed with Nami. But a lot of that could change...*hint hint*

Thanks to those who reviewed: (1) Red Voident Dragon, (2) Ultra One Piece Fan, (3) sasunaruFangirl4ever, (4) alguien22792, (5) Sarus-crane, (6) freakinscarykid, (7) XxstevilxX, and (8) Jewls Rewls. Special thanks to repeat reviewers: Red Voident Dragon, alguien22792, XxstevilxX, and Jewls Rewls!

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece. Life sucks.

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><p>Zoro was relieved when he woke up the next afternoon and there was no sign of Nami. Maybe this horrible pretend boyfriend nightmare was finally over. The blond idiot looked absolutely shot down after the movies the day before. If Zoro actually had a conscience, he might've felt bad about breaking the idiot's heart. But he didn't.<p>

He could still feel Nami's pedicured nails clawing at his arms from their make out session. Never again, he told himself. The more time he spent with her, the more uncomfortable he felt, and the more uncomfortable he was, the more she stepped up her game. Was she playing a game not only with the blond idiot but with him too? To see how far she could push the both of them? To see how much rejection Sanji could take and how far Zoro would go for her sake (and the beer)? Well he was done. No more pretend boyfriend. Two dates were enough.

Zoro's day seemed strangely empty without Nami and the blond idiot around. Before he went to bed, he checked his phone repeatedly to make sure he hadn't missed something. There were no calls or messages, so he shrugged his shoulders and flopped onto his bed. He stared at the ceiling and suddenly remembered that Nami had promised him beer.

"Damn witch." He grabbed his phone from his nightstand and dialed her number.

"Hey, honey. I was just about to call you," Nami answered.

Zoro completely ignored her greeting, unaware of anything she just said. His mind was centered on one thing: his beer. "Where's the beer you promised me?"

"So honey, could you leave the door open for me? I left my keys at home. Silly me."

Zoro arched a brow and stared at the phone. Were they even having the same conversation? "My beer," he reiterated.

"Ok, thanks honey. I'll be home in a few minutes. Love you."

There was a click and then silence. Zoro went from shocked to irritated in a matter of seconds. "What the hell is up with that witch? I don't care when she's coming home! I want my damn beer!"

He sat on his bed fuming. He was about to call her again but stopped when he heard his apartment door open.

"No, Sanji. Please leave. Zoro will get upset if he sees you followed me home."

Zoro grit his teeth. Oh hell no. She did not just show the blond idiot where he lived and she most definitely was not going to pretend that they lived together.

He stormed out of his room and down the hallway. Crossing his arms, Zoro glared at the two standing in the doorway of his apartment. "What do you think you're doing here?" he asked Nami roughly.

Nami looked at Zoro worriedly and clasped her hands together. "Oh Zoro! I told Sanji that you would be mad, but he insisted that he walk me home. I'm sorry honey." Nami wiggled her eyebrows at him. The beer, Nami mouthed.

Zoro sighed and uncrossed his arms. He needed to just lay down and get some sleep before he tore someone's head off. "Get inside, witch. We'll talk about this later."

Nami smiled at him and strolled into the apartment. "Of course, honey." She stood on her toes and pecked him on the cheek. "I'm so sorry for all the trouble."

Zoro rolled his eyes. "Right." He watched Nami go down the hallway towards his room but didn't say anything. He didn't forget that the blond idiot was still standing in the doorframe watching. Besides, the witch would get it later.

"You actually live together?"

Zoro walked over to the idiot, trying to appear intimidating. "Let me just warn you _Sanji_," he spat, "don't ever believe a damn thing that woman says."

Sanji glared at Zoro and lunged forward so that their faces were inches apart. "What was that mosshead? What kind of a boyfriend leaves his girlfriend to walk the streets alone at night?"

"Heh." Zoro shoved Sanji away from him, finding his cologne strangely intoxicating. "I wouldn't know, would I?"

Sanji was clearly confused and gaped at him. Zoro grabbed the door, ready to use his stunned silence to his advantage and slam the door in the blonde's face.

"Zoro?" The two of them turned their attention to the hallway where Nami stood. She wiped her eyes tiredly. "Zoro, come to bed already."

Zoro gaped when he saw she was wearing one of his shirts as if it was a dress.

"Get out of my shirt!" He waved his arms wildly, stalking towards her.

"Could someone please tell me what—?"

"Can you please shut up?"

The blond idiot's mouth clicked shut obediently, but he glared at Zoro nonetheless at the demand. With the idiot quiet, Zoro continued approaching Nami angrily. He pointed at her, absolutely fuming. "You get out of my shirt!" He whipped back to Sanji, pointing at him. "And you go home and forget that you know where I live!"

He shifted his eyes back and forth between Nami and Sanji. Both stared at him, intimidated by his rage. Zoro tore at his hair in frustration. He couldn't take this crap anymore. "Get him out of my apartment," he demanded as he shoved passed Nami on the way to his room.

Zoro sat on the edge of his bed and buried his face in his hands, letting out a frustrated groan. Why did she have to make everything so damn complicated? For one thing, if she really expected to share his bed, she was wrong. Very wrong.

"...alright...his favorite shirt...no...leave..."

Zoro looked up and scowled at her when she returned a few minutes later. She sat down beside him and didn't say a word.

Nami furrowed her brows at him and sighed. "I didn't realize how much you'd flip a shit over this. You did agree to this remember? You shouldn't be giving me such a hard time," she accused.

"I didn't agree to this!" He motioned at Nami wearing his shirt. "This is too far. It was bad enough in the beginning but now you've taken this shit way too far!"

A quiet knock came from the apartment door.

"Dammit. What now?" Zoro got up from the bed and stomped over to the door. He almost slammed it the second he saw that it was his neighbor.

"What do you want, Usopp?"

His long nosed neighbor scratched the back of his head. "Well, I was wondering why there was so much yelling, so I thought I'd just come over and see…and then I freaked out when this random stranger was wandering down the hallway like he was lost. So then I thought, 'Zoro could probably scare him away because he's such a scary guy.' But then I didn't want to make you mad by bothering you so then I thought maybe I'll just talk to the stranger myself, but then the more I thought about it the more scared I got, and then I thought of you again and your big scary muscles. So then—" Zoro shifted weight and stared down at his neighbor angrily. Usopp shuttered in fear, getting the point. "—I just came here…"

Zoro poked his head out of his apartment and glanced in both directions. "I don't see anyone."

Usopp's eyes widened. "No! Believe me! Don't get mad Zoro! There really was someone here! I was getting my I-better-get-Zoro-to-protect-me-from-an-intruder disease! Really!"

"Just go back to your apartment," he grumbled. "I can't take anymore of this tonight."

Usopp pursed his lips in thought. "So, that was you yelling. What happened?"

"None of your damn business."

Usopp stumbled backwards, raising his arms in surrender. "S-sorry! I'm getting my I-need-to-get-away-from-Zoro-before-he-kills-me disease! See ya!" He turned quickly to his apartment but stopped mid-step. "Oh oh! There! Right there! See?"

"What?" Zoro looked at where Usopp was pointing and immediately recognized the blond idiot. "Oh great," he muttered. "What are you still doing around here?" he asked as Usopp scooted away.

Sanji gritted his teeth at Zoro, clearly pissed. "Shit." He looked down at his feet and didn't say anything more.

Zoro stood in his doorway and stared at the blond idiot in front of him. There was a twitch in the blond idiot's face, and he kept shifting his weight awkwardly. He looked as though he was about to say something because of the way he kept opening and closing his mouth, but he didn't make a sound.

Zoro was losing what little patience he had. "If you're not gonna say anything then—" He grabbed the door, ready to slam it in the blonde's face.

"No!" Sanji reached out for Zoro's hand, preventing him from closing the door. "Uh. I mean..." He pulled his hand away quickly face red. "The last bus already left, and I..."

Zoro sighed and opened the door all the way. "Damn. You don't know anyone else over this way?" He moved aside, giving Sanji the chance to come in. This embarrassed side of Sanji was something Zoro didn't know how to handle.

"No, I don't you asshole," he yelled, suddenly becoming the fiery idiot that Zoro remembered. "And if I did I obviously wouldn't have come back here!" Sanji stormed passed Zoro, making it safely inside before Zoro could try and slam the door in his face.

Zoro scoffed, amused. The idiot knew how to play sides, but not in the manipulative way like Nami. He liked it.

"Stay here," Zoro said and then walked off without waiting for a reply. He entered his room, completely ignoring the woman sitting on his bed and rummaged through his oversized shirts. He picked one randomly and found a pair of sweatpants. He slung them over his shoulder and started to head back to the living room where he left Sanji.

"Zoro, what—"

He breezed by her, still too pissed to trust himself to speak to her without yelling. Sanji was standing awkwardly in his living room when Zoro came with his clothes. He tossed them over to him without a thought. "Take these to wear. The bathroom is down the hall to the left. Shower and change or just change. I don't really care. The couch is yours."

"Ah, thanks," Sanji said, thrown off by how civil Zoro was acting.

Honestly, Zoro didn't exactly know either why he was being so nice to the guy. Maybe the conscience he didn't have was making him feel guilty for tricking the blond. Sure, that was it. Zoro didn't want to admit it to himself that bantering with Sanji had somehow become the highlight of the past two days or that smelling his cologne earlier had really turned him on.

Zoro nodded, suddenly feeling a little out of character. He didn't want to be known as a "nice guy." He crossed his arms and leered at Sanji. "Just don't drool on my pillows asshole!" He laughed in amusement and went back to his room.

"What? I don't drool!" Sanji yelled after him.

As soon as Zoro saw Nami lying on his bed, his face fell. He kicked the door shut and moved to his side of the bed. "You were supposed to sleep on the couch," he grumbled, lying beside her.

Nami moved to rest on her side and smirked at Zoro. "But you just couldn't find the heart to kick someone as cute as me out of your bed, right?"

"No," he replied shortly. "The last bus left, and the idiot had nowhere else to go."

Nami's flirty smirk fell from her face. "What? You're letting Sanji stay the night?" She crawled over towards him, their faces inches apart. "You know, this could be the perfect way to scare him away."

Zoro held her away from his face. "No, no, and no."

"Oh, come on, Zoro," Nami whined, staring down at his face.

Their bodies were too close for comfort in Zoro's opinion. The way Nami was hovering over him with her shampoo that smelled strongly of oranges wafting to his nose and infecting the room. It wasn't the same as Sanji's cologne. Nami's shampoo was nauseating. Sanji's cologne was intoxicating.

Zoro was too lost in thought to notice his grip slipping. Nami leaned forward, taking Zoro's spacey behavior to her advantage. Their lips touched, and her hands ran under Zoro's shirt.

"You know it feels good," Nami whispered between kisses.

Zoro blinked, trying to wake from his aroused stupor. For the second time that night, Zoro's conscience began to kick him in the ass. He could imagine Sanji lying on his couch, listening to their moans. The way his face went from surprised to disturbed as he tried to fall asleep and had to listen to the woman he was infatuated with make sounds that he wanted her to make for him and only him. It was just wrong. This wasn't pleasure or satisfaction from making the idiot jealous anymore. This was _wrong_.

"Get off me, witch!" he snapped. It took all his willpower to shove her away to her side of the bed and ignore his growing arousal. He sat up and stared at the wall gasping, trying to calm himself. "Don't come near me again," he warned, unable to look at her.

"Zoro…"

"You stay on your side, and I'll stay on mine." He laid back down mutedly with his back to her.

"Zoro."

Zoro shut his eyes, trying to ignore her. What bothered him was that Nami seemed so serious, like this wasn't a game anymore. She wanted to initiate sex between the both of him, and sadly enough he almost let her. As a man, he had absolutely no self control.

He didn't like her. He didn't want her.

He didn't want to do this anymore.

* * *

><p>Relationship status: Ok, Zoro can't stop thinking about Sanji and how guilty he feels...meaning he actually CARES what Sanji thinks! And now Zoro officially can't stand Nami. ZoSan is on its way in while ZoNa is slowly on its way out. And adding Usopp in was just a fun touch.<p>

So how will Zoro act by the time morning rolls around?


	5. Food is the Way to a Man's Heart

18 reviews for the last chapter! Holy bleep. I just want to say thanks for all the feedback and the patience. This year has been pretty rough for me, and now that school is winding down I've found some time to seriously work on this story again. I gotta say, last summer was the best summer of my life and that's why I fell off the face of the earth and never updated anything. Then senior year hit me like a bus, and I was left holding on for dear life. And now that bus is finally coming to a stop, or at least a transfer place. It'll get better. It'll get better!

Thanks to my lovely reviewers: (1) Santoryuu apprentice, (2) aQiel, (3) sakura240, (4) neon rose, (5) lovezoroxsanji, (6) musicis4ever, (7) HappyMe-O, (8) Jechts Broken Heart, (9) alguien22792, (10) Rhov, (11) Ultra One Piece Fan, (12) xxShinxx, (13) NagemaakteLie, (14) XxstevilxX, (15) Jewls Rewls, (16) Red Voident Dragon, (17) sasunaruFangirl4ever, and (18) Sarus crane.

Thanks so much for all of your support. I'm grateful, and I'd be even more grateful if you continue to support this story even though it's been a long while since I've updated. And of course, a special thanks to repeat reviewers, if you remember who you are. :-)

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece.

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><p>When Zoro woke up the next morning, he didn't know what to do. The witch was still asleep in his bed, and he was hesitant to go see if the idiot ditched like a bad one night stand. Not that the idiot leaving already would bother him. Just the idiot stealing his clothes would greatly piss him off. Right.<p>

Zoro stayed in bed for a while, listening to the sound of Nami's slow breathing. She mumbled and sighed in contentment, making Zoro twitch in disgust. This damn woman ruined his entire week. She caused so many problems, too many problems for Zoro's problem free world.

He sat up quickly, unable to stand the sound of Nami's breathing. It irked him, the way she slept so peacefully and permeated the room with her stench. Scowling quietly, he got up and left the room. He needed his morning coffee to wake him up. Otherwise, he'd be struggling to stay awake the entire day.

The smell of fresh coffee startled him. He slumped over to his kitchen and saw the idiot standing in front of his beloved coffee maker.

Sanji flinched at the sound of Zoro's sluggish footsteps. Zoro watched him turn around in slow motion. How should he act? Should he continue to act like an ass and remind him who he was sharing a bed with last night? Should he ignore him? Or treat him like a...friend who was allowed to spend the night? No. He...

"Hey moss head. I took the liberty of making some shitty coffee since you're doing a shitty job with the hospitality."

Zoro gritted his teeth. This idiot was not a human being. He does not deserve to be ignored and he as sure as hell needs to be reminded of certain things that'll make him feel like a total piece of shit. He needed to be slandered!

"Idiot."

Sanji looked at Zoro snidely. "That's the best response you can come up with? You must be related to cavemen after all."

Zoro inwardly flinched. All those options he just listed in his head...and "idiot" was the best he could come up with. Pathetic. "Just get me some coffee." He skulked over to his cupboard and pulled out a coffee mug. Slamming it down on the counter, he stared ahead hazily and ignored the idiot's insult.

"Rude prick. Here I am making you coffee as thanks and you treat me like shit," he said as he poured Zoro his drink.

"You are shit," Zoro replied. He immediately gulped down his coffee despite the scalding heat of the liquid. Caffeine would help him think properly. Then he'd blow this idiot to bits.

"Another great comeback from the caveman."

Zoro rolled his eyes. "Coming from the guy who called me homeless. Look where you are dumbass―my home. The home that I let you, a complete idiot, spend the night at." He slammed his empty mug down again and leaned on the counter lazily, staring Sanji in the eyes. "And I gotta be a 'rude prick' for letting you stay instead of forcing you to go to some hotel right?"

Sanji scowled and looked down. His bangs fell over his eyes, and he drew in a deep breath. "Ah…thanks."

Zoro couldn't deny that he was surprised. He just insulted the guy, and here he was thanking him? Zoro stared at him, uncertain of what he should say.

Sanji's sheepish look turned into one of anger. "Hello? I'm thanking you, and you just stare at me? What the hell moss head?"

Zoro continued to stare at him. He couldn't help but notice the way Sanji's anger made tiny wrinkles in his forehead and his one visible eyebrow twitched every few seconds. He smirked.

"And what's so funny, bastard?" Sanji snapped, his eyebrow twitching violently.

"Hmm?" Zoro asked. "Nothing. That curly-q brow of yours just seems to be performing some strange angry dance is all."

Sanji slapped his hand over his eyebrow. "Screw you."

"No thanks."

"That's right. You were too busy with my Nami-swan last night."

Zoro's smirk fell from his face. He stared at Sanji stupidly, frozen. He had completely forgotten about the witch. He was too immersed in his banter with Sanji. It was almost as though he suddenly became sober after an incredible high as soon as the witch was mentioned.

"Not―" Zoro stopped himself when he noticed Sanji's eyes disconnect and look off to something over his shoulder. He turned around and saw Nami. Scowling, he stared at his favorite shirt hanging loosely from her figure. One look at the way her entire form sagged immediately had him frown in confusion. Was this another scheme of hers? To make him feel sorry for last night and run back to her side so that they could continue playing this game of pretend? Well he wasn't buying it.

"Good morning, my lovely Nami-swan!" Sanji cooed, stepping towards her.

Nami looked up, her eyes pure sadness. "Morning Sanji." She moved towards Zoro, completely ignoring that Sanji was walking towards her. "Zoro."

He looked at her carefully. The sadness in her eyes looked scarily genuine. "Yeah?"

"I need to talk to you."

Both of the guys stared at her, unmoving. Those words brought nothing but terror for every man involved in any sort of relationship. But they weren't in any sort of real relationship. So why should he worry?

"Yeah." He walked passed her and said over his shoulder, "Pour me some more coffee while I'm gone, idiot."

As soon as Nami entered his room, Zoro crossed his arms. He watched her carefully, refusing to be the first one to speak. He remembered all the times he attempted speaking over Nami and each and every time he got an earful for being a "rude, lazy, selfish, alcohol addicted bum." Zoro knew better, even though Nami wasn't acting like herself at the moment.

"Have you come to your senses yet?"

"What?"

Nami glared at him. "Have you come to your senses? You flat out rejected me last night. That never happens to me. Ever. What's wrong with you?"

"Wrong with me? The entire point of this pretend relationship was to act 'together' in front of the idiot, not in my room where he won't know a damn thing!" Zoro scratched his head to keep himself from punching the wall. Nami was making things too complicated.

Nami ran up to Zoro and threw her arms around him. "Kiss me Zoro." she looked up at him expectantly. Hope filled her depressed eyes and the smell of her shampoo clouded Zoro's nose. "Kiss me," she pleaded.

"Get off me," he demanded, feeling slightly nauseous.

She withdrew, sighing. "You are a complete idiot."

"I've never heard that from you before," he said snidely. "I'm going to get more coffee since it doesn't seem as though we're really 'talking' about anything."

All he wanted at the moment was to take a nap. He didn't drink enough coffee yet to keep him alert, so sleep sounded like a wonderful idea to him, but with two people in his house that he couldn't stand, he figured it would be impossible. By getting more coffee he'd be with the lesser of the two evils. At least Sanji made him coffee. At least Sanji didn't try and jump him for a kiss every few seconds like the witch.

With this logic, Zoro made his way back towards the kitchen and left Nami alone in his room to do whatever girls did in the morning. She was acting too weirdly and he didn't want anything to do with it. He just wanted some nice hot coffee.

Sanji was rummaging through Zoro's fridge when Zoro got back to the kitchen. A pan was sitting out on the stove, a pan that Zoro had only used once before to make grilled cheese. And he was pretty damn proud to say he only burned that grilled cheese a little.

"Geez moss head. You have absolutely no food in here. How do you ever make breakfast?"

Zoro scoffed and sat at the table where his coffee cup had been conveniently placed, now full with coffee. "I don't eat fancy."

Sanji grabbed something from the fridge and turned towards Zoro. "Protein drinks?" He waved it in disgust and then tossed it back into the fridge. "Those are absolutely disgusting. You need to have some real food."

"Protein shakes make me what I am. Without them I'd be scrawny and weak." He eyed Sanji up and down, noting the lack of muscle on the man.

Sanji looked back at Zoro with anger in his eyes. "Are you referring to someone specific with that statement? I definitely could kick your ass, you brute."

"Like I said, it doesn't look like it." Zoro flexed his muscle and kissed it. He caught Sanji's eye and smirked devilishly at the way Sanji's face was turning red with anger. "Something wrong idiot?"

"Just watching a caveman making out with his own body. It's pretty barbaric."

"Oh so you're watching it? Got some hidden fetish that you'd like to share with me?" He kissed his muscle again, maintaining eye contact with Sanji the entire time.

"Sometimes I can't help but watch stupid people do stupid things." He found everything he wanted from the fridge and put everything on the counter. "Now this is your opportunity to watch a genius do brilliant things," he said as he turned on the burner to the stove.

"You some kinda cook?"

Sanji's voice swelled with pride, "A damn good chef. I―"

"I hate to break it to ya but burger flipping at McDonald's isn't something to be bragging about," Zoro interrupted.

"I work at the best restaurant in the city, you shitty caveman."

"McDonald's."

"No."

"Yes."

Sanji groaned in frustration. "Just wait and see. After this, you'll be begging for more."

Zoro purred. "Oh will I?" He laughed at the shocked look on Sanji's face. "Don't tell me you didn't see that coming? Talking dirty is a man's specialty."

"I don't 'talk dirty' to the ladies. I am proper and polite. I am a gentleman."

"Uh huh. We both know that you may not say them out loud, but you're thinking all these nasty thoughts in your head how you wanna fu―"

"ZORO!"

"―a woman senseless. Right, Sanji?" Zoro teased, pleased with the reaction he got from him. "You can't deny a man's needs."

"Disgusting."

Zoro shrugged and focused on his coffee, losing interest in Sanji's cooking. As long as it tasted good, Zoro didn't care how it was made or what it was. He'd eat anything.

After a few minutes of silence, Sanji spoke, "Ah...is Nami-swan alright? She seemed a little down this morning."

Zoro looked over at the chef, who had his back to him. He sounded genuinely concerned and that ticked him off slightly. "She's fine. She's just throwing a fit since I'm not as easy as she expected."

"Easy?"

"Hm. She was practically begging for it last night. And I didn't give in to her. She's been a witch these past few days."

"That's not the proper way to treat a woman!"

"Uh huh. You're just mad that I had the chance last night to fu―"

"ZORO!"

"―her senseless and you'll never get that chance. A man's jealousy never gets him anywhere, cook. Let it go."

"You better make it up to her. She's probably crushed. You shitty boyfriend." He took one of the plates he left on the counter and covered it with food.

"I'm not―" The plate clattered in front of Zoro and his mouth dropped. Bacon, eggs, sausage, pancakes, fruit, this plate had it all.

"You're not what?"

"Huh?" Zoro grabbed a fork that had been placed conveniently on the table and started stuffing his face. What was he going to say before Sanji dropped this glorious feast before him? He shrugged. "It's good," he stated.

"I know," Sanji said. He placed another plate on the table, this one decorated nicely with all the food in place like a true professional. The toppings on top of the pancake were in the shape of a heart, making Zoro almost wretch in disgust. "And this is for Nami-swan so don't touch it."

Zoro glanced over at the plate, tempted even with the heart on the pancake. He could just mash it around with his fork and then eat it. Problem solved. He wouldn't be accepting any hearts from Sanji. By now he was almost done with his plate, and he felt he could keep eating forever. He made a dissatisfied sound and kept eating.

Sanji chuckled. "Told you I'm good." He sat down across from Zoro with his own plate, and their feet touched. Startled, Sanji drew back. "Ah sorry."

Zoro shrugged, thinking the contact wasn't a big deal.

"Zoro, I'm leaving."

The two men stopped and looked over at Nami. She was wearing the same outfit she arrived in the night before. Her hair was slightly damp from the shower and face shiny from being freshly washed. Despite her clean look, she still managed to look disheveled. Her eyes looked dark and depressed. When she caught Zoro's eye, they darkened even further and her eyes looked glazed over.

"Later," Zoro answered and went back to eating.

Sanji was appalled at Zoro's reaction. He stood up from the table and said, "Nami-swan I made you a lovely breakfast. Why don't you stay and enjoy it? The ogre can leave if its presence upsets you."

Nami shook her head. "No, I'm alright." She stared at Zoro helplessly, but he refused to look back at her. "Goodbye." She turned around and left, shutting the door to the apartment quietly. The sound echoed through the apartment ominously, leaving the two men alone in silence. Zoro was uncaring, but Sanji was fuming.

"You go to her and apologize before she gets away!" Sanji demanded.

"Stay out of my business." Since Nami left, he reached for her plate of food, but stopped when the plate was snatched away by the irritable cook.

"Go."

Zoro gave in and looked up at the cook. He was absolutely pissed. Zoro sighed, standing up. "Fine."

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><p>Zoro swore under his breath the entire run down the apartment stairs. The damn elevator was always too slow. There was no way he'd ever catch up to Nami unless he took the stairs. All this for a plate of food…<p>

When he reached the bottom level, she was nowhere to be seen. He ran outside and looked around wildly. He saw a flash of her orange hair and saw her sitting at the bus stop.

"Hey!" he called and jogged up to her. "Come back up to the apartment."

A tiny bit of hope sparked in her eyes and she stood up to face him. "Really?"

"Yeah. That shitty cook made me come and get you."

The small smile on Nami's face faltered and she stepped back. "Oh. Sanji made you come?"

"He makes some damn good food," Zoro said in explanation.

"You are a complete and total idiot! A complete asshole! I can't stand you!" She grabbed him by the shirt and yanked him towards her. Caught by surprise, Zoro had no time to react or resist as Nami began to kiss him greedily. She was so incredibly rough and dominating that Zoro was too stunned to stop her from invading his mouth. He pushed at her weakly but she only pulled him closer, and Zoro felt his body hum in approval.

Ah whatever, he thought. He finally had the strength to break from the kiss. "Come back to the apartment?"

Nami licked her lips. "Mmm." She took his hand and led the way back.

Hell yeah. Now I can get more food, Zoro thought. The tingling in his lips was distracting but not as distracting as his hunger. Making out with Nami wasn't that awful in exchange for some of the shitty cook's food, not that he'd ever admit it out loud.

On the way up on the elevator, Zoro realized that Nami was still holding his hand. He snatched his hand back and crossed his arms. Nami pouted but didn't say anything. Zoro didn't understand why she was holding his hand in the first place when Sanji wasn't around. Unless the idiot was watching their kiss from the window and saw them holding hands all the way back inside. Zoro knew Nami was cunning to think of every possible situation like that and use things like hand holding to her advantage. He immediately thought of Sanji alone in his apartment. Shit. He basically left a complete stranger alone in his home. Not that there was much to steal, but the two of them weren't on the best terms. He could do some property damage and take off. Zoro would have no way of finding the guy. Nami would tell him that he deserved it and wouldn't give him Sanji's number or information. Then he'd be stuck paying for whatever the hell the cook destroyed. He may be a professional trainer making decent money, but he surely didn't wanna pay for anything he didn't have to.

When they made it up to his floor, Zoro practically flew down the hallway to his apartment. He grabbed onto the door handle, mentally preparing himself for his apartment to be completely trashed with absolutely no sign of the blond idiot.

He threw the door open and the first thing he saw was someone he wasn't expecting.

"I can't believe Zoro was keeping you a secret from me! You make really awesome food! You should come over and cook for me!"

Zoro looked between Sanji, who was grinning with pride, and the newcomer, Zoro's best friend Luffy. "Luffy, what're you doing here?"

The dark haired 20 year old turned around from his seat and grinned widely at Zoro. "Zoro! I was just coming to see if you wanted to go to the beach with me! There's a sand castle building contest and I―"

"I have work today. You should know that."

Luffy's grin didn't falter even with Zoro's clipped response. "I thought so, but I just remembered that after I came, and then Sanji was here and he offered me some food. I couldn't say no to food! So I thought I'd eat and leave before you came back but then I thought that would be rude so I stayed!" He rubbed the back of his head and laughed. "Zoro understands right?"

Zoro chuckled at his friend's childish behavior. "Sure, Luffy."

He was glad his apartment wasn't trashed but having Luffy here was a danger in itself. That kid really knew how to turn things upside down. Even though the two of them had such different personalities, Zoro couldn't help but feel connected to Luffy in some way. Zoro was more of a loner himself, and Luffy had a keen sense when it came to making friends with certain people. The kid was too innocent. He'd make friends with the banana peel in the street if he thought it looked lonely.

The day they first met Zoro was training in the gym in his usual corner by himself. He remembered seeing Luffy running around trying every piece of machinery in the place while his older brother ignored him like he was completely used to Luffy's erratic behavior. Zoro tried his best to block the idiot out, but when he came up to Zoro, inches away from his face and broke the sliver of concentration he had, he couldn't help but notice him. Luffy introduced himself and Zoro only grunted. He hoped that would indicate that he wasn't interested in associating with him in any way. But Luffy being Luffy didn't get the hint and badgered him until Zoro told him his name. He would never forget that cheesy grin or the way he said, "You're going to be my first mate, Zoro, like the cool guy on a pirate ship kicking total ass beside his captain." Zoro just raised his eyebrows at him and continued working out.

After that, Luffy visited him every day and talked his ear off. Zoro never said much, only grunting and nodding when he wasn't too busy focusing on how many reps he still needed to do. Eventually their friendship evolved and Luffy started bugging Zoro about how they never hung out outside of the gym. And Zoro did the one thing he never expected himself to ever do. He invited Luffy to his apartment, secretly hoping he'd stay for about an hour, leave and then never bother him again. That didn't happen. Luffy ended up staying the night and they had a movie marathon of action and thriller movies that Zoro didn't care to remember. He had fun with Luffy over at his place, and he could seriously say he didn't mind having him there. Sure he was annoying and a huge pain in the ass when it came to eating everything in sight, but he had the qualities of a little brother that Zoro couldn't help but grin when no one was looking. And that was the beginning of their friendship.

Arms wrapped around Zoro's waist. "Move blockhead."

"Yeah, yeah," Zoro answered dismissively, removing Nami's arms from around his waist.

And then there was Nami. He couldn't remember how they met, but he knew it was because of Luffy. The blockhead couldn't help but introduce Zoro to everyone he knew. The way Nami stared him down whenever he was around her really grated on his nerves. He thought maybe it was because she never saw someone with green hair before and found it strange. But after months of seeing her every week or so with her continually staring at him, he couldn't figure out why she was so interested in staring him down. Eventually she stopped, but that was only after he flipped at her and demanded to know why she was constantly staring at him. Her face turned bright red and she flat out denied it. After that he caught her staring less frequently, and he learned to deal with it. The moral of this story: he was never meant to understand the workings of a woman, especially Nami.

"Nami! Hey Nami!" Luffy waved at her wildly. "I thought you said Zoro was a disgusting pig and you were never stepping foot in this God-awful pig sty again even for all the riches in the world?"

Nami smacked Luffy on the head. "I never said that!"

Zoro smirked and walked up to the two of them. "Yeah you did. Last week."

Nami shook her head. "Nope."

"Yep."

She stomped her heel on Zoro's tiled floor. "No!"

"You damage my floor with those pointy ass heels and you pay for a new one. I don't need my landlord bitching at me...again." Zoro glared over at Luffy, who was stuffing his face with more of Sanji's food.

Luffy didn't even flinch with Zoro's glare boring into his back. "I didn't mean to! I promised to never play wrestling with Usopp ever again! I won't. I swear! New windows and furniture took up money for a week's worth of food." Luffy frowned. "Bleh. Too much cereal that week. Too much."

"It taught you a very important lesson: don't screw around in my apartment," Zoro glared.

Zoro remembered that day clearly. Usopp had come over to hide while the plumber was over fixing his toilet, and it just so happened it was also the day Luffy decided to stop over because he was bored. God only knows how the two of them ended up having a wrestling match. At first, Zoro found it amusing. But once Luffy picked up Zoro's coffee table in a blind rage and threw it at Usopp he knew they needed to stop. The landlady bitched Zoro out for an hour because of the broken window, the coffee table that had almost ended up killing a passerby on the sidewalk below, and the horrible coffee stains that the coffee table had once kept hidden from the world. Luffy and Usopp were banned from the apartment a few weeks after that ordeal until they paid for the damages and Zoro could finally resist the urge to strangle them both.

Luffy's frown fell into a pout. "Cereal is not meat. Cereal is not meat!"

"You are absolutely ridiculous," Nami scoffed.

The three of them shared a look and burst into laughter. Zoro couldn't deny that they were all good friends despite all the arguing that went on among them. He was a muscle head, Nami was a greedy witch, and Luffy was a glutton, and yet they somehow managed to get along. Yes, Nami and Luffy annoyed the shit out of Zoro, but they were his friends. His annoying friends.

"Ah...I think I'm going to get going. I need to get home and get ready for work."

The three stopped laughing and looked over at Sanji, who had been completely forgotten.

Zoro cleared his throat, thrown by the way Sanji looked so left out of the group. "Forgot you were here, curly-q. It's about time you got outta my damn apartment. I didn't get that second plate of food like you promised since Luffy here showed up. Now there's no reason for ya to stay." But you're welcome to come back, he wanted to stay.

Luffy jumped up from his seat, the chair crashing to the floor. "Sanji! Sanji! You have to come cook for me sometime! Zoro likes your cooking too, right Zoro?" He turned around to look at Zoro for confirmation.

Zoro scowled and picked up the fallen chair from the ground. "Always making dents in my floor," he complained. He waved his hand dismissively. "Yeah good food. Come over. Sure."

"You don't sound very reassuring you shitty moss head," Sanji said. He threw the last of the pans back where he found them and wiped his hands. "I'm getting out of your mossy hair. Don't worry," he said and started walking towards the door.

Zoro sneered and looked at the other two still in the kitchen. "You too. Leave. I gotta get my ass to work in an hour."

Nami rolled her eyes while Luffy just grinned.

"I mean it."

"Whatever."

"Ok Zoro!"

Zoro followed behind the two of them as they made their way to the door. He felt like a parent shooing a bunch of teenagers out of the house after being caught at a party gone wild. Except he wasn't a parent, they weren't teenagers, and he absolutely loved parties gone wild.

"Out," he said to the three of them. He yanked open the door and signaled that it was time for them to leave.

Luffy was the first to step through the door. He grinned at Zoro and waved. "See ya soon!" He turned around quickly and ran down the hallway yelling, "Thanks for the food!"

Zoro had the feeling that he'd be seeing Luffy more often now that Luffy had discovered Sanji's cooking skills. In Luffy's eyes once someone entered Zoro's apartment and stayed there for longer than five minutes, they were considered Zoro's friend. But if Luffy actually thought he and Sanji were friends, then he was sadly mistaken. He couldn't stand the guy, and most certainly wasn't gonna be found anywhere near his apartment again.

Sanji's face showed nothing but disbelief. "He's crazy."

"Uh huh," Nami said knowingly. "Well bye dear," she said to Zoro. "I'll see you later." She leaned up against him and gave him a sweet peck on the lips. "Just to leave you wanting more..." she smirked.

Zoro had to resist the vicious urge to roll his eyes. She was good but not that good. He didn't want more. He wanted less. He wanted her gone. He had forgotten that he was supposed to be mad at her, and now that he remembered, he wasn't gonna take anymore of her bull. Damn his slow brain!

"Out."

She smirked at him and gave him a seductive look. "More like in...And then out."

"Disgusting."

Nami cackled. "Bye babe!" She waved sweetly and then strutted out and down the hall.

Zoro rubbed his face, trying not to think about what Nami just insinuated...what they almost did last night. "You didn't just hear that from her."

"Uh..." Sanji was speechless. "No I didn't."

"Good. I don't know how you're the last one to leave, but seriously get the hell out."

Sanji growled. "Well thanks for letting me stay, you stupid asshole! That's the last time I ever ask something of you!" He turned around quickly and stomped off.

Zoro watched him the entire way down the hallway until he turned to catch the elevator. Those pants were way too baggy for the blond...his favorite sweatpants...Why the hell did he give Sanji his favorite pair of sweats?

"I better be getting those back," he grumbled and then slammed the door. After all, this made the perfect excuse to see the blond idiot again.

"Why do I want to see him again?"

Zoro rubbed his face tiredly. His brain was very confused. It must've been the food. Food is the way to a man's heart after all. And Sanji was...no. Never mind.

Work. Must get ready for work.

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><p>There you have it. I'm slowly getting back into the writing groove, so I hope this was satisfactory. Review, alert, favorite? Whatever floats your boat. Feedback is greatly appreciated.<p> 


	6. The Truth

Sorry for the long wait. I've been really busy with work and spending time with my friends. We're all trying to get some friend time in before we all go our separate ways. Oh college...

I know the chapter's not very long, but I thought that was a decent place to cut it off. I've added in another character too so hopefully that'll appease everyone.

Special thanks to all that reviewed: (1) musicis4ever, (2) Minnesota Fireball Wolf, (3) ZoRolove574, (4) alguien22792, (5) eternal-anime, (6) Queenoffiction, (7) HappyMe-O, (8) Jewls Rewls, (9) The Y Effect, (10) sakura240, (11) Trishia, and (12) aQiel.

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece.

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><p>Zoro was annoyed with himself mostly. He'd been telling himself since this entire pretend boyfriend ordeal started that he would end it. But here he was three days in and still playing pretend. And he hated it.<p>

He hated the way Nami was all over him like it was her job. He hated the way Sanji glared at him with jealousy (over absolutely nothing). He hated the way his body responded to Nami's advances and he hated the way he wasn't satisfied with the entire situation. Nothing good was going to come out of this. So why not end it?

Zoro stared up at the ceiling, contemplating. Not even beer would convince him to continue playing this game. The next time he saw Nami he would tell her it was over.

There was a timid knock at the door. It couldn't have been any of friends. Luffy would slam the door open, yelling at the top of his lungs. Nami would kick it open and coo his name obnoxiously. Usopp would be pounding at the door furiously, afraid for his life for whatever reason. So who was harassing him at 7:00 at night?

Zoro grumbled as he opened the door and stared in mild shock at his visitor.

Sanji looked at him sheepishly and held out Zoro's sweatpants and shirt. "I brought these back for you. I figured you'd want me to return them as soon as possible since you don't seem like the type to have a decent wardrobe."

Zoro rolled his eyes and took his clothes from Sanji. "You still owe me a plate of food."

"I don't think so. Nami-swan didn't even get to enjoy my cooking."

"That was Luffy's fault not mine. He's going to hunt you down until you make him some meat. But anyway..." Zoro tossed his clothes onto the floor and leaned casually against the door-frame. "You owe me a plate of food." He crossed his arms and stared at the blond man. He had to get his way. His smoldering gaze would hopefully persuade the shitty cook to cook for him again. He had been craving his cooking. He didn't care that he was a straight man flirting with another straight man. That fluttering in his chest was telling him to go for it. To burn the cook with his gaze.

Sanji's entire face grew red from Zoro's gaze. "Tomorrow at 6. You free?"

Zoro was always free, but the cook didn't need to know that. "Yeah. You'll be here then?"

Sanji scowled, his face returning to its natural color. "It seems like I don't have a choice."

Zoro smiled, happy to get what he wanted. His gaze had yet to fail him. "It's a date." Not even bothering to wait for a response, he slammed the door in the cook's face. With a hammering heart, he stumbled over his clothes, forgetting they were there. He grunted in annoyance and scooped them up. Sanji's scent immediately invaded his nose, and Zoro hummed in satisfaction. Food. Food. And a good smelling cook to go with it. He had no clue why he was feeling so lightheaded and excited over this little "date" as he so elegantly and embarrassingly called it, but there was no way for him to take back his words now. He never knew flirting with another guy could be so entertaining. He couldn't wait for tomorrow.

* * *

><p>When Zoro got home at 4, he immediately laid on his couch for a nap like usual. He had no reason to impress the cook. So what if he looked disheveled and drooly when he answered the door?<p>

This time there was no timid knock on the door. Zoro didn't even know the cook had come until a couch pillow was rudely thrown at his face.

"Get up moss head!"

Zoro groaned and rubbed at his tired eyes. The pillow fell to the floor, no longer cutting off his air supply. The smell of good food invaded his nostrils, and he cracked open his eyes so he could look over at his kitchen for the food. Except Sanji was standing right in front of him, glaring down at him.

"Good evening, sleeping beauty. What a lovely way you treat your guest. You were too busy sleeping to answer the door! Lucky for me you're such an idiot that your door was unlocked!"

Zoro swatted at the air in front of him like there was an annoying fly buzzing around him. "Mm," he mumbled, brushing him off.

Sanji growled and stalked back to the kitchen. "I made chicken cacciatore with roasted green beans and tomatoes. It's one of the most popular dishes at the restaurant." Sanji didn't like to brag or boast, but he was proud of the way the dish turned out. He especially liked the sauce: pure perfection. It wasn't too thin like some of his coworkers made it to be. It was perfect. He just hoped that Zoro would feel the same because he really needed to impress him so he could prove that he wasn't a lowly employee at a burger place!

Sanji was watching him carefully as Zoro took the first bite.

It was so good! Zoro didn't even have the nerve to pretend it wasn't. He glanced over at the cook and nodded in approval. "It's good. Real good."

Sanji let out a quiet sigh and relaxed his shoulders. For some reason, cooking for the moss head was made him extremely tense. It was important that each customer left satisfied from the restaurant, but there was something extra important about proving himself and his cooking to the moss head. He wanted to make the man moan in pleasure.

Zoro looked up at Sanji, noting the way Sanji had been staring him down since he had sat down to eat. "Are you gonna eat or stand there scared like a teenage boy asking a girl out on a date?"

Sanji puffed out his cheeks and grabbed the plate he made for himself from the counter. He plopped down across from Zoro and watched him gulp down the food like he hadn't eaten in days.

Before coming over, Sanji had to buy all the needed ingredients. He almost bought enough for three but in the back of his mind he knew he would only need enough for two. Nami wasn't much of a presence in this apartment. This had been bothering Sanji a lot. He didn't really know what the truth was. Zoro always seemed disgusted by Nami and forced into doing things for her. When he and Nami had stayed for the night Zoro looked absolutely appalled that Nami was strutting through his apartment. If she lived here then Zoro should have been used to her presence not appalled by it. And that's what confused Sanji. Did Nami live here or not? The two of them had some serious friction that it was really hard for Sanji to believe they were actually a couple. Zoro seemed to treat everything Nami-related like it was a struggle. That wasn't how relationships worked. So what the hell was going on between those two?

"You look seriously constipated, cook. Did you poison the food or something?"

Screw the confusion. "Nami doesn't live here, does she?"

Zoro put his fork down and regarded Sanji carefully. "If that's why you were so eager to come over and cook, to see Nami, then you're gonna be disappointed cook. She doesn't live here."

So she lied to him. Zoro lied to him. But why? Not every couple lives together to prove their feelings for each other. So why lie about it?

Zoro sighed. This was his chance. The perfect chance to come clean. To end this charade. But then what excuse would he have to ever have the shitty cook come and cook for him again? If he told the truth, the man will probably be pissed beyond belief, storm out, and then never be seen again. Did he want to risk losing Sanji's good cooking?

Both of them sat in silence, contemplating. Should they destroy the relationship they were slowly building in exchange for the truth? Or keep things in the dark and unknown? Because what they didn't know wouldn't hurt them?

"Do you want the truth?"

Sanji jumped in his seat from the broken silence. He stared at Zoro, unsure of what he really wanted. Ignorance was bliss, but he didn't like feeling so strung along.

"The truth?" he echoed.

"The truth."

"The truth..."

"Nami and I aren't dating. We were never together."

Once those words spilled from Zoro's mouth he was forced to explain the entire ordeal to the cook. It all rushed from his lips, and he didn't have the chance to think before it all spilled out. The man just stared at Zoro during his explanation, said oh when he finished, cleaned up the dishes, and left without a single word. Zoro sat at his kitchen table for hours in silence trying to realize the consequences of finally revealing the truth.

Sanji's response wasn't a good one. But what did he really expect? He and Nami had done nothing but lie to him so why shouldn't he be upset and leave without a word? If he was Sanji, Zoro would've been pissed and smashed everything within because of his wounded pride. Still, doing the right thing absolutely sucked. He couldn't deny that he regretted it slightly. But at least that witch would finally leave him alone with Sanji gone.

* * *

><p>Life continued for Zoro as though Sanji had never been part of his life. Nami didn't bother him again, Zoro went to work, came home with some fast food for dinner, and went to sleep by 11 every night. Sometimes he'd find Luffy at his apartment stuffing his face with snack foods and meat. Usopp would bang on his door claiming aliens were doomed to abduct him. It was as though the entire pretend boyfriend ordeal never happened. Maybe it was all a dream. Everything felt so normal. Zoro had become so accustomed to his routine that by the time Luffy decided to throw a party for one of their friends, Zoro was slightly relieved for the break up in the monotony.<p>

"Zoro!" Luffy waved at him madly as a greeting.

Zoro had just arrived at the party, which was taking place in Robin's backyard. Robin was a close friend of Luffy and Zoro both. She was wealthy and could afford to have a huge party thrown in the wide open space that no one could believe was her backyard. Already her entire yard was filled with people, food, booze, and music. The party was in full swing.

He nodded at Luffy and approached him. He didn't really like the social scene, but he would bear with it if it meant something to his friends. He was relieved that Luffy found him so quickly. Luffy never stopped talking ever, so as long as Zoro stayed around Luffy and nodded at Luffy every few statements, he would appear social.

"Where have you been Zoro? I thought for sure that all the meat would be gone before you got here! But I made sure to tell everyone to leave you some!"

Zoro just shrugged. "Where's the beer?"

"By the meat!" Luffy grabbed Zoro by the shirt and began to drag him through the clumps of people. "Brook is really happy with the party! I'm so happy that I thought to throw him a party. He's gonna be famous now!"

"Yeah. He'll do great with that record label."

Luffy glanced back at him. "Silly Zoro! He'll be famous cause of my awesome party that I threw for him!"

He didn't see how that would make Brook famous, but Zoro decided not to say anything. He could see that they were approaching the bar with all the alcohol. Luffy finally let go of Zoro's shirt, confident that there was no way Zoro would stray from the bar and get lost.

"Luffy!"

Zoro almost choked on his drink but gulped it down quickly. He forgot that Nami would be at the party. He hadn't seen her in months and had no desire to. He still felt like shit for playing along with Nami and lying to Sanji. And here she was, yelling out Luffy's name and not his. Oh, how women flip flop to different men so quickly.

"Hey Nami!"

Zoro ordered another beer from the bar before he turned to face Nami. They stared at each other openly. Zoro took in her appearance and noticed a sense of strength and confidence now burned in her eyes.

"Hi Zoro," she greeted breathlessly. It appeared as though she had forgotten about Luffy entirely. She only had eyes for Zoro.

"Mm," he responded, downing his second beer. He prayed that she would just leave him alone.

"How have you been? We haven't talked since...well you know."

Zoro knew perfectly well what she was thinking of. The day after Zoro told Sanji the truth Nami had stopped over at his apartment. He never let her step foot in the door. She told him to let her inside, just in case Sanji decided to drop by and she would be there to convince him that she and Zoro did indeed live together. Zoro coldly told her that Sanji knew everything, told her that Sanji was her problem, and then slammed the door on her. He didn't feel bad about it either.

They stood in what could have been an awkward silence, but Luffy didn't seem to notice the tension. He took Nami by the wrist and yanked her forward.

"Come on Nami! I'll show you Robin's orange trees! You like those right?"

Nami blinked at Luffy's assertive behavior, taken aback. "Um I do, but can't it wait? I really need to-"

"No! I'll show you!"

Nami scowled but gave in. "We'll talk later," she told Zoro as she was dragged away by Luffy.

"Thank you, Luffy," Zoro mumbled to himself in relief.

He most certainly didn't want to talk to that woman. What was there left to say anyway? But he knew that Nami wouldn't let him get away without some sort of confrontation. The crisis was averted for now.

Not wanting to appear like a man without a mission, he decided to find the meat that Luffy was so excited about. Meat was Luffy's favorite food, so Zoro was curious to see what place Luffy idolized enough to have cater the event. Not to mention he was slightly hungry.

"Yohohohoho!"

Zoro broke into a grin the second he heard that peal of laughter. He turned around to see Brook dressed in an outfit fit for the stage. A man that tall and skinny should not have that many sequins plastered all over his clothing.

"Zoro! How wonderful to see you here!"

"Yeah. Congrats on the record label. I'm sure you'll go far."

The man clapped him on the back eagerly. "I'm sure you're only saying that because of my hit, Bink's Sake. Anything involving alcohol is something you'd be sure to like."

Zoro took a long swig of his beer. "Whatchu talkin bout?" he mumbled drunkenly, partially closing his eyes for emphasis.

The two of them broke into laughter at his antics.

"Make sure to save some room for the booze for when I perform later this evening. Back up vocals would be much appreciated. Audience participation fuels a singer's enthusiasm! Yohohoho!"

Zoro wasn't much of a singer. He would never sing in public. "Mmm. There's always room for alcohol," he answered, avoiding the topic of his singing.

Brook laughed again. He knew how well Zoro could hold his liquor, so he didn't doubt Zoro's words. "Glorious! Well I'm off to mingle with more of my adoring fans. See you later Zoro."

Zoro nodded his goodbye. He remembered the first time he saw Brook. He and Luffy were at a haunted house and they had mistaken him for a skeleton. Zoro almost punched him in the face while Luffy was eager to make friends with his first encounter with the supernatural. Brook just barely dodged the punch and spent the better part of the night trying to explain to Luffy that he was human and not a skeleton, but yes, he would still become his friend anyway. The man was so skinny and pale that the misunderstanding was an honest mistake. Really.

As Zoro finally reached the meat table, it was at that very moment Zoro decided that he and Luffy needed to stop having the same friends. But at the same time, he couldn't help but think that Luffy had really good taste in catering. Zoro recognized that curly eyebrow and blond hair in an instant. What he couldn't recognize and explain was the look on the idiot chef's face when they caught each other's eyes. Sanji was catering the event, and this was the first time since Zoro had told him the truth that he had seen the shitty cook.

"Zoro! We need to talk! Now!"

And there was Nami, approaching him from behind. Now he was surrounded by the two people he would've loved to avoid.

Freaking fantastic.

* * *

><p>Dun dun dunnnnnnn. Confrontation time! Everything's out in the open and there's no way to avoid the subject any longer. Will Zoro be able to handle taking hits from both sides?<p> 


	7. The Answer

An update! Woo! It's a little rushed I'll admit, but I've gotten PM's from a few people reminding me that this unfinished story still exists. I know it is short, but it's the best I was willing to do. I don't write like I used to, and my style is definitely not the same as previous chapters. I apologize in advance, but I hope you enjoy nevertheless.

* * *

><p>"Why me?" Zoro muttered to himself. He was caught between the two people he desperately wanted to avoid.<p>

The three of them all looked at each other. Despite the sounds and rush of the party, Zoro felt as though he had been sucked into a void. There was silence and nothing else but the two people staring at him. He felt trapped.

"Zoro. Let's talk."

"I really don't understand this. Are you together or not?" Sanji's face was set in a glare. The way Nami was staring at Zoro made it seem as though they were in a relationship. The expression on Zoro's face said otherwise. He still didn't know what to believe. He looked over at Patty, a chef working the food table with him. Patty nodded at him, and Sanji took that as an okay to leave the table. He approached Zoro and Nami angrily. "Tell me the truth."

"Talk to me!" Sanji and Nami yelled together.

Zoro grunted. "Both of you just stay the hell away from me! Is it really that difficult?" He snarled and gnashed his teeth as he stormed away from them. Running away again. This wasn't like him to run away and avoid his problems but he just didn't want to be bothered and fix things. Why couldn't they just leave him alone?

He did the only thing he could think to do and left the party. He made it all the way to the driveway before someone stopped him.

"Mr. Trainer?"

Recognizing Robin's nickname for him, Zoro sighed. A mixture of annoyance for the hold up and relief that it wasn't Sanji or Nami swirled inside him. "Hm?" He turned towards her as she looked down at him from her front door. Her blue eyes stared at him calmly.

"Not enjoying yourself enough to stay for Mr. Skeleton's performance?"

"Hn," he responded.

She nodded as though she understood. Zoro knew that Robin somehow knew his situation because she had a way of knowing things that he just didn't understand. One thing he was certain about was that she would keep her mouth shut about his disappearance unless she was asked. He could at least trust her to that degree that she wouldn't be sending those two devils chasing after him.

He could feel her watch him go, trying to decipher what had just occurred. Maybe it was a challenge to her to keep her mind sharp or she liked puzzles. She was a history buff, so maybe she was trying to learn his "history." Zoro didn't care. It wasn't like his troubles were a secret. Actually, Nami and Robin were close. Robin probably heard the entire ordeal from Nami, but twisted to Nami's advantage to earn sympathy and make him appear the bad guy. That was the way women worked, Zoro knew. He knew, but he didn't understand.

* * *

><p>So he had managed to escape again. This game felt like cat and mouse to him, and he didn't feel as clever as Jerry, especially with two Tom's chasing after him. And that mouse was one clever bastard. He hated to admit it, but the cloud of foreboding over him wouldn't leave him alone. He knew his time was coming.<p>

And it came the next day as a knock on his door. He jumped up from the couch and remained there paralyzed. The knocking continued on in an unsteady rhythm. Either the person was ticked or nervous, maybe both. Zoro got up slowly and opened the door without making a sound.

And there Nami stood, fist poised to knock on the door once more. Before Zoro could even blink he felt Nami's hands cup his cheeks and his head was pulled downward. Lips collided for a moment before Zoro pulled back roughly. Using his arm, he wiped away the feeling of her lips on his.

"What the hell?" He yelled.

"Zoro I like you for God's sake! Are you too much of an idiot to realize that?!" Tears were streaming down her face as she reached out towards him. "I tried everything to get you to notice! I didn't want it to be a fake relationship! With all my heart I wanted it to be real! I know you felt something! That one time I spent the night we..."

"No."

Her eyes widened from his response. "No? What do you mean 'no'? You clearly felt something!"

"I'm a guy. What did you expect? When a woman comes onto a man like that shit happens."

"Shit happens? So you..." She bit her lip in thought. Her eyebrows were creased so much that Zoro thought she looked constipated. Shit happens. He almost smiled to himself at his own thought but he knew Nami wouldn't appreciate it. "All this time you've felt nothing...? No emotional attachment whatsoever?"

His silence was enough for her. "Could you at least think about it, Zoro?"

He remained silent, almost fearful of saying something that wouldn't work in his favor.

"I see. Well if you could at least think about it, even if you think you've made up your mind...I would appreciate that." She paused and seemed to think something over before she continued speaking. "...The reason I wanted to talk to you at the party last night was because…Sanji and I have started dating. And the only reason I agreed to date him was to make you jealous."

Hearing this from Nami sadly did not surprise him in the least, and it only made him more upset with her. "If you honestly believe that that will change my mind then you are out of your mind and—"

"What…?"

The utterance came out so quietly that Zoro almost thought he didn't hear anything. But he knew even before looking up that Sanji was there.

Sanji stood in the hallway of the apartment, red faced and disbelieving. He rushed over to the two of them, angry and sputtering. "You! And...him! Our time together really was just a lie to get his attention?!" He stopped and took a deep breath. "I thought you had changed your mind about me," he said to Nami brokenly. "I thought...that you really started to like me, and you were going to tell that to him yesterday at the party..."

"What are you even doing here?" Nami questioned. She looked scared. Caught in the act.

"What happened yesterday just didn't feel right to me...Nami is what you said true...? You really were going to use me to gain his attention?"

Before Nami could open her mouth Zoro spoke up, his anger getting the better of him. "Screw this messed up soap opera! She lied to you…again! Don't you get it? She doesn't like you!"

Sanji's sad expression turned to one of anger. "I bet you're happy now, you sick bastard. You got the girl! You've probably been laughing to yourself this whole time thinking how pathetic my attempts to win her over were!"

Zoro couldn't help but let out a bitter chuckle. "The mere idea of me going out with her after the way she treated you disgusts me! She's a manipulative-"

There was the sound of a door opening, and Zoro cut off his tirade to glare at his neighbor's door. "Get back inside!" Zoro barked. He did not need another person dragged into this situation. And his neighbor Usopp was one to stick his nose where it didn't belong and talk about it later.

There was a shriek. "I'm sorry! I was just getting my I-hear-a-lot-of-yelling-and-I'm-a-nosy-neighbor disease! But I'll leave!" Usopp yelled and slammed his door shut.

There was a long moment of silence, as each of them realized how out of hand their argument had become.

Sanji broke the silence with a sigh. "I get the picture. You don't want me around. I'll get gone."

Neither Zoro nor Nami could muster quick reply. He looked at them both and shook his head. "Goodbye, mosshead…Nami-swan."

"I'm sorry," Nami whispered to Sanji's back.

Zoro watched him go without saying a word. It hurt more to watch Sanji go this time than it did when he first told Sanji about his and Nami's deceit. He felt in his heart that this time he really would never see Sanji again.

Nami sniffled loudly, drawing Zoro's attention.

He didn't want to deal with her anymore. His heart felt too heavy. "Please leave," he told her. "And never come back."

She looked up at him in despair. "Zoro…please…can't we just go back to being friends? I'll forgive all your debts!"

"No."

And with that he took a step back into his apartment and shut the door on Nami and this horrible chapter in his life.

"I'm never agreeing to do something this messed up for beer ever again."

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><p>Please review if you have the time. Thanks!<p> 


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